Navigating Loneliness This Holiday Season
The holiday season is upon us, with Thanksgiving right around the corner and Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years, etc. following close behind.
With this time comes a lot of joy. Gift exchanges with friends and family, eating big plates of holiday food, listening to festive music, binging our favorite films, and participating in annual traditions with loved ones are all special moments that many of us look forward to!
However, this season can bring up its own challenges as well. From those of us who may have complicated family dynamics, are healing through breakups, grieving loved ones, can’t make it home, etc. etc., this time of year can be anxiety-inducing, stressful, painful, and may bring up intense feelings of loneliness.
Coping with loneliness feels like an impossible feat, and especially so during the holidays, a time that’s known as a celebration of joy and love. If you’re on social media, it’s difficult to avoid pictures showcasing what many may think of as the “ideal” holiday season; happy families in matching pajamas and picturesque couples in love doing winter activities together, each scroll intensifying however you may be feeling. Then, when leaving the house there’s always groups of people out together, enjoying time off work and catching up with long-distance family members and friends. If this isn’t your reality, it can feel isolating.
It’s a wonderful time for those with loving, healthy, and supportive relationships / families; it’s challenging for those who aren’t.
I am so lucky to have a family who supports me and loves celebrating the holidays together, but being single and having long distance friends all over the U.S., these feelings of loneliness, inevitably, always surface. Recognizing that my situation is definitely better than most, I’m offering some small, but useful tips to help combat and work through challenging feelings that might pop up during the holidays. I hope if you find yourself experiencing moments of loneliness in the next few months, you can visit this list and connect with just one idea to work through it.
Ideas for navigating loneliness:
Volunteer: Giving your time to help others in need is an amazing way to not only meet new people, but to feel connected to the holiday spirit of giving and feel like you did something good for your community. It will also give you something you can celebrate yourself for and be proud of!
Practice Gratitude: The moments when we can’t find anything to be grateful for are often the times we need to practice gratitude the most. Reminding yourself of all the good you have around you, even if some things may feel tiny and irrelevant, is so important and will help ground you when those thoughts of having no one are sounding too loud.
I do a simple gratitude practice at night by taking just 3-5 minutes to write three things in my journal that I was thankful for that day. This is also great to do in the morning if that’s what makes sense for you!
Be creative: If you have some time off work, or just want something to do rather than scroll social media, let your creative juices flow. Baking and decorating cookies, watching a holiday film and painting, making ornaments or decorating your home are all great ways to have fun on your own and connect with your inner child!
Treat yourself: Yes, the holidays may be the time for giving to others, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with also treating yourself to something special! Make yourself a really nice meal with quality ingredients (or go out to a nice restaurant if you loathe cooking), book a spa day, get your hair done, or buy a new piece of clothing you don’t necessarily need but that you haven’t stopped thinking about. Giving doesn’t just have to be about others, you can give back to yourself too!
Plan something for future you: Having something to look forward to can be a great motivator when life is feeling monotonous or unexciting. This could be a big trip in the far future, a quick weekend away, or even just a day to do something you don’t usually do. I always find that planning for something, seeing it on my calendar, and feeling the lead up of excitement helps me work through moments when I’m feeling down.
Connect with those you can truly talk to: Call the people in your life that feel safe and supportive. Spend time on a Facetime call with a loved one or even just send a message letting a friend know you’re thinking of them and miss them. It may make you feel sad when you hang up the phone, but also feeling cared for and loved at a time when you need it.
Prioritize self-care: Having a self-care practice is important year-round but especially during the winter. Depending on where you live, you may be dealing with not only loneliness, but the devastating effects of daylight savings, and the lack of sunlight taking a toll on your mental health. This has always been one of the biggest winter challenges for me; it’s hard to get up, be motivated, and make plans when the sun is setting at 4:30 pm and it’s cold. That’s why prioritizing self-care is more important than ever. Diving into your hobbies, reading a good book, getting a good night’s sleep, staying active, practicing meditation, or however you need to connect to your self-care practices is incredibly important.
I recently downloaded a habit-tracker app called Finch that helps remind me to complete my self-care goals each day, like taking my medicine, reading a page in my book, journaling, and staying active. If you struggle to stay on top of things like this, I can’t recommend it enough!
Remember, just because we have ideas of what a “perfect” holiday should look like, there’s not just one right way to celebrate; this season looks different for everyone. There is a huge mix of people, families, friend groups, cultures, and religious beliefs in the world that everyone’s holiday will look different. Remind yourself during this time that yes, even though you might feel alone, you are not alone.
Feel all your feelings; cry if you need to, scream if you need to, rest if you need to, rot in bed if you need to. Then, find your way to move through and create your own special holiday joy.
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Blog Written by: Isabel Lopez
📷: Isabel Lopez / Cameron Burke / Unsplash
